Scars (Explicit Content)

Hidden scars

Is it like buried treasures? 

Hidden secrets

Hidden stories

Want to look behind mine?

What does my buried treasure say about me?

What will you find looking behind these scars of mine?

Never would I thought that me, I 

Would have ever drug a knife to my skin

Never would I have thought that blood would drain leaving my body cold

Never would I thought that tears would always caress my cheeks 

These scars

These memories

They will always be there can never forget what each one is from

Ever grow up knowing only one father....

Not even a biological father

A Stepfather 

Since I was 5 

He's all I ever know 

The one I looked up to 

The one I saw as giving me away when I got married

I guess you can say he is the root to the treasures

He is the one who started this mess

Or Maybe its just that I'm that Fucked up

Afraid of who I was 

Who I was becoming 

Couldn't really look him in the eyes

I was in the wrong

I was always to blame

When I was 8 is when it all started

Mom thinks she got it bad

She doesn't even know.. well never wanted to believe that he did all that shit to me

Physically his hitting toy, can't say punching bag because he never punched me 

Just slapped me around here and there

Verbally Abused me making sure I knew he was the boss of the house

Making sure I knew he was the Man of the house

Making sure I knew that he could bring me down when ever he wanted 

Mentally fucking me up

Out of all the abuse the mental abuse is the worst....

Your not good enough 

Your to big

8 years of age and already mentally fucked 

Starting to understand depression

Starting to understand the world is not full of Rainbows and Unicorns

First scar

First treasure buried under my skin

A start of knowing what it feels like to be numb

Not feeling anything

Might have started an addiction 

Not a drug addiction

But a cutting one

It was a release 

A way of getting my depression and feelings out

Journaling only did a little boxed up the memories

But cutting 

It released everything

But that too leaving a boxed up memory

Wanting to Die 

Or not even die

Just feeling Nothing

letting everything exit your body in the slight knife to skin motion

These Scars

These buried Treasures 

Everyone Has an Escape 

Everyone Has Secrets

Don't let these haunt you

Don't let them make you

You are who you want to be

And I learned that 

These scars don't make me 

They are part of me

And I can change the outcome to my story

Being bigger then my obstacles 

These Scars 

These Memories 

Lost and never forgotten 

Not really looking for anyone to read this. Just couldn't stop Typing!

Thoughts linger through my head like a bee buzzing around flowers. Come and go but will always be there fluttering around. As I sit here and write this it’s hard to get a single thought down. When I’m merely just trying to get one thought out. I’m stuck, stuck in this head of mine that just sits on my shoulders. Trying to figure out what exactly is it I’m trying to get across. But I apparently have no idea what it is I’m trying to say. Just keep writing this nonsense, just keep typing away about why I can’t write. Why I can’t get anything out. Everything is just jumbled inside my brain. Thinking, over thinking, thinking about the what if’s. Thinking about the why’s. Thinking about everything that was said to me. Thinking about everything I said. Thinking about things that things that happened. thinking about things that was done. But here I sit not knowing exactly what I’m trying to get out. Can’t get one single thought out, maybe, maybe this is my thought. Maybe this is what I want the world to read. Maybe this is my way of telling my self to get my shit together. Maybe this is exactly what I wanted to say. But yet again, here I am having verbal diarrhea writing about nothing. What such nonsense, making no sense at all. Just typing away, but what am I typing? What is this? Why can’t I stop? It’s like all I want to do is just keep typing away at this utter bullshit. Rambling on and on.. Why? It’s means nothing. Or does it actually mean something? Thoughts linger through my head, and its not just one thing but everything. If you end up reading the whole thing I’m sorry, cause not only does this make no sense but it’s like I said before utter bullshit. If you do end up reading all the way through, I would be surprised. My fingers finally stopped and the words are just not there anymore. That just might be the best for everyone!

All I Want

Yeah All I want....
Is to be in your thoughts
In your dreams
In the words you spit on paper
All I want....
Is for you to be happy
For you to understand I'm here
For you to know I'm at your every will
For you I will do anything
Just to know you are happy
All I want....
Is to know if I am what you want
Is to know if I am where I should be
Is to know what it is you want

All I want....
Those three words
Sounding like it's all about me
I sit here and laugh
This isn't about me
I should just quit while I'm ahead

Why did I wrote this in the first place?
Why is it that now I feel like I'm in the shadows?
Why do I feel so alone?

I'm not alone
Your right there

......
....
..
....
......

All I want
Is for you to know
I'm here
And just want you to be happy

....

All I want to Say is I Love You!!!!

For what its worth 

I Love You 

I might have much to Give 

But I try

I love You

Every meaning of the word

We sit here

Drunk

High

Breaking up

But do we ever really break up?

I don't want to leave

I just want you to be happy

I will leave if need be

But I will always be here

You are one of the most important person in my life

I love you 

The way you talk to me

Just talk

The way you put so much passion behind everything you do

Everything you say

You're so special to me

You mean a lot to me 

And I will always be here for you

I love You

You 

The word that means exactly how it portrayed

You as a whole

You as a person

All of it

I Love you

Love 

The word can mean so many things

But I sit here

Thinking

Talking to you 

In all honesty

You can not really describe the word

Its more a feeling 

In which I have for you

When I look into your eyes

I see the sadness

I see the joy

I see you as a whole

I know the times are rough

And we sit here

time and time again

Talking 

Seriously

About Life

Its funny cause we will be all about jokes

And the next minute 

We're sitting here

Having a deep conversation about Life 

Your Life

My Life

Our Life

I just Listen as the words slip through

your mouth like vomit

Weird to describe it

But I just love to listen 

No matter what its about

How it makes me feel

I just Love to listen

Thinking thats all you want me to do

I might not say much

But

What can I say 

We go back and forth

Hurting

Feeling each others Pain

And yet

We still fight

You fight for many reasons

And I fight

to 

.....

Understand you more

I Love You

You can say I shouldn't

You can say I Don't

But here I am

Loving you more

and 

More

....

I want to lift you up

I want to support You

I want to change you for the better

I want to be that guide you need

....

I will wait for you

At the park

At June After dark!

(June After Dark - Elliot Root)

....

Maybe you can do better

Maybe I just Try to Hard

Maybe I need to focus more on your needs

I Try

I Don't Know

....

Emotions

These emotions

Damn 

I don't know

All I can Say

Honestly

Is That

I Love You

Everything about you

Even when we don't agree

Even our deep conversations

Our Fuck Ups

Our Memories

Every Moment With You

I Love

....

I keep rambling on

Im Sorry

I Just Want You to Know 

That

....

I Love You!

Always 

No Matter What

You Are always in my Dark depressed non existing

Heart!!!!

  

Do you really love me?

You want to end this
Do it now
Don't fill my heart with joy
Then shut it down
Don't fill me with dreams of the future
If you don't really love me now
Just tell me to leave you be
And I'll just walk away
Sadness I'll feel
But it won't hurt as bad
As if you continued to lead me
To a nothing ending
If you don't love me
Let me be
Don't keep me wanting
If you don't want me
You are my everything
But if I'm just getting used
Please stop it
Cause I won't be able to take the rejection
After you made your choice
If you really loved me
I don't know how to tell
I'm stuck in my head
And this fucked up hell
You are my world
My universe as well
But here I'm stuck in my head
Thinking I'm nothing to you
I love you always
And In always will
But if you don't really love me
Please end this now

You fill the void

You fill the void in my heart
Long enough to show me I'm loved
Until
I see
That your not really filling this void
Just playing with it
I know we will never be
But I do love you so
And I want you to know
I can't get rid of you
No matter if you are just playing with me or not
You fill the void in my heart
Even though I know we will never be
You'll always be the one who truly completes me

lost in the moment

Three words escape my lips, caressing the air.

 Lost in the moment with you.

Three words so true.

Each word I wonder if you are real.

Lost here with out you.

Your are my happiness.

You know my pain.

Addicted to our moments we share.

Not wanting to leave these moments at all.

You are my Sweet nightmare.

I dream you are there with me.

Then I awake and the bed is empty.

Tear's pile up,

knowing I can't have you.

But always have that dream to look forward to.

Placing your hands on my cheek.

The warm embrace,

sends a shiver down my spine.

Placing a smile on my face.

I want to live in this moment always.

Be my forever.

Lets get lost in this world

Sitting here in your own self-pity.......Father's Day

Here you are sitting in your own self-pity!

You think no one understands what your going through

But they do

Yet you get thrown in a corner by your own family

Just because your little sister's problem is worse

"I don't have a Father"

She yells at you

Yeah well she does

She chooses not to see her Father

She chooses not to speak to him

She chooses not to have a relationship with him

All because he fucked up once

But he was actually trying

and you know what i would have stopped trying to

If she didn't want to see me

And she blames him for not trying

When she stopped trying long ago

Sitting in your own self-pity again

Eyes are exhausted from crying

Mood quickly changed

As you remember Fathers day is around the corner

How do I get thrown in the corner

Why don't they understand what you are going through

They just turn it around and again

It's all about them

They don't know what you are going through

They just think they have it worse

It's a trigger

The word Father

Getting it thrown in your face

That she does have a father and you don't

That she actually has two

Her biological father

and

The guy she calls her father

The one person you knew to be some what of a father

Was her biological father

You were his world

His everything

Til the day she was born

His own

His flesh and blood

You were just thrown to the side

Raising and taking care of the one who treats you like shit

He turned against you

His temper got worse

His lashes scared you

His toxic mood changes toward you were always something to fuck you up

He's one of the reasons why you are who you are

Why you are the way you are

Why you act the way you do

Why you have Daddy issues

The mental abuse you went through

Sticks to you like glue

The verbal abuse you went through

Fucked you up

and

The physical abuse you went through

Left you with scars

Everyone turning their back

Not seeing anything or hearing anything that happened

You are on your own

He left

Left you with scars

Left you with pain

Left you with heart ache

Left you in the corner which you stay

No one here understands

They just turn it around

And the attention you wish you had but didn't have is now gone

You never wanted the attention

Just someone to confide in

Someone to listen

To be interested in what you had to say

But you never get that

Who else can you turn to

Wishing you had that father figure to turn to

Cause maybe he would help

and

Listen

Here you are sitting in your own self-pity

Realizing that it's just a day

But the day you wish you could spend with the father you used to know

OR even the one you do have

Wish you knew who your real father was

Even if he didn't want you

Just to know who he is

Wish your mother told you

At least they all know who their father is

Your still in that corner

Out of wedlock

Pushed aside

Was once loved

now no one can give two shits about you

Fathers day

A day to worship the man in your life who took care of you

The day to realize he is one of the most important people in your life

But for you

Fathers day

The day you realize you want to die

You just want the day to go by

Sleep the day away

Realizing it's going to be the worst day of your life

The day you Hate life the most

You might be sitting in your own self-pity

But at least you realize the truth

At least you know what the day has in store for you

At least you can stay in your corner until it's all over

Maybe no one will bother you

Oh wait

No matter what your going to hear

Them talk about their father's

You know what

This isn't self-pity

This is how you feel

This is your life

Your Life

Not theirs

Trying not to grab a knife

Trying not to grab the pills

Trying to hold your composure

So far so good

But it's not the day yet

12 more hours to go

Let's see if you can last

Let's see if you'll be alright

Don't let your mind wonder

Stay on track

Keep busy

And know

Who gives a shit about having a father anyway!

..........

........

......

....

..

Oh yeah

You do

My Forever!

You were my forever

But now your gone!

So you were never my forever

You were just someone I loved or thought I loved

You were my forever

Now I have the scars to prove that I know what forever means

They will always and forever be left on my skin

The hurt

The pain

Me going insane due to your use of Forever

My loss 

My silence 

You left me beaten and broken

Some things I cant get rid of in my past memories

You apparently are on of them

You were my forever

Now your forever marked on my skin

The blood I wasted on you 

You gave me the world 

And then took away the biggest part of my Life

Was never the same after I left

Hospitalized due to your incompetence of keeping your word

I don't care about losing you like I did before

I still care you took the one thing in the world that made me the happiest

You took the one precious thing from me that I raised myself

She is no longer in my life

I try to be there

But she is gone 

Now she will Forever be in my memory

Fuck you 

Fuck your forever's

The scars remind me that you were a big mistake

And the blood I lost 

Was me taking my life so i wouldn't have to go through that again

Close but so far 

Still here trying not to hurt

Moving on

Sitting back and than once again remembering what you took from me

What i cant get back

Fuck you cause I'm still here

Can't take my life that easily

My scars are forever on my skin 

The blood I lost will forever be the memories of what you took away from me

I guess there is a forever

Just many ways to use Forever

You were my Forever

Fuck you 

I am my own Forever

What i go through in life is my forever

Memories are my forever

Scars are my forever

Blood lost is forever gone

Family is forever 

But you 

You are not my forever

Haven't blogged in awhile! for some reason i just feel like getting back into it!

Life is a mystery!
Life is insanity!
Life is corruption!
Life is brutality!
Life is just Life!
I don't think there is any real meaning to it.
You can live life, give life, save lives, and take life.
But can you really explain life?
Well heres what i got from life so far.
It's a Nightmare.
It's hard to figure something out as a whole when its just this precious little thing. But at the same time you want to figure it all out at once. Just so you know how to deal with everything and whats coming at you and whats going to happen next. You must be wondering why think like that? Why would you want to know about whats going to happen next in your life? Why would you wanna know whats coming your way?
Well why not?
Why wouldn't you want to be prepared?
Why wouldn't you want to be able to stop all the bad?
All the sadness?
All the deaths?
All the fights?
Well let me put everything in perspective for you.
This world thrives on just one thing Balance! But that one thing are several things. Good and evil, happy and sad, wrong and right, you need to give to get. So if you don't have one you don't have the other! Give and take that kind of thing.
See me well i would like to know whats coming my way! But at the same time i wouldn't! There would be no surprise, no emotion no nothing, all you could do is just sit there and blankly stare. Huff and puff and move on to the next day already knowing what's coming ahead. You would already know whos coming into your life, and whos leaving! Crazy right?!
Now if you didn't know what was coming and who was coming in and out of your life. That would be a surprise, there would be emotion, You would start thinking about whats happening to you.

In life people die!
Why do they die?
Why do they have to?
Some people think if one person dies at the same time another life is born, almost like Reincarnation. People are born again! If we never died than we would live forever! We would live forever in this non-emotional universe where all we do is live. Knowing every movement on will make, every sentence one is going to say! How boring! At that point we would want to know death!

Life is just something you want to live! Even with is mystery, insanity, corruption, brutality, and death! Life is life just have to live it until your time is up!

God's Not Dead!

Has anyone seen that movie? That movie was actually a big deal.... Because one professor said God is Dead it made one student stand up to say God is not Dead! And in many cases I do believe that he (GOD) is not dead. I thought that There was no such thing .... I mean well i knew there was a "God" But not the God everyone talked about. I went through a deep depression and i did not believe .... Surely enough i was Saved Literally! Im not gonna hold anything back Im going to tell you guys straight up! I was so depressed i did not want to live at all.... I had my roof spots but i felt i didnt be long i was no help etc. And let me tell you blood coagulates in 4 mins .... I felt like i was done and slit both my wrists deep so you can see the muscle and blood was just pouring out.... Guess what my blood coagulated in less than one minute and i was not dying. I was saved Than that Sunday at church .... or the sunday after my Pastor was saying out God's words and was talking about being saved and you have a purpose in life. Also he said he had a motto which is stuck on my skin " You've got what it takes; But it will take all that you've got"! Now Im not telling you to belive but i am telling you that There is a God and he lives through everyone. No matter who you are, what you do, etc. He is every where no matter what he plans for your life he plans it good or bad. But you have to remember you shouldn't blame him if you think he is doing you wrong its not that he wants you to be sick, sell yourself, do anything bad. It's that he does it on purpose to bring you closer to someone, to be loved to be alone anything he does it on purpose. And if you feel alone join the club but your time in this world maybe cut short or may not. Alone or with someone, Just dont Blame God for your life you can always change it. God just knows how its going to end, and how everything is going to turn out.
You might think im just blabing about but im trying to tell you HE lives in everyone no matter what. You can be a Satanist or Atheist GOD knows what your gonna do, Who you become, etc. Believe me or not.... If he saved me i know he probably saved some of you! After what happened with me i always think why did he save me!? What is my Purpose in life!?    I think about everything im going through and so Why save someone like me!? I still dont understand but i still go forth and believing that GOD has a purpose for me no matter good or bad!? And i Believe that he sees what i do and he knows whats what and whos who.... Life is a Mystery but for him hes already seen it. Delt with it, but my question is why is it a Mystery to us? Maybe its a Mystery to Us because we can always change our future!!!! So i dont like thinking about the future because it can change!!!! I go day by day living each day (not like its my last because i know if i do it might be my last.) the only time i think about the future is when i make appointments and when i go to a concert etc, other than that i live day by day.... Even the day can change!

Every body is sick here!

Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy!
Everyone is Sick here! Mom suffers from Severe COPD so because she had a Blast at Miranda Lambert's concert and now is hit hard hurting. Foster sister/daughter is still sick but not hurting that much just her stomach hurts. Boyfriend well threw up this morning and doubled over in pain. And the kids my Foster son/brother is perfectly fine didnt get hit with the bug and i hope he doesnt. But we think that he will cause they are on string vacation this week. My boyfriends son well he didnt get hit either, so hope he doesnt. And well me i was sick but i didnt have the bug.... i dont know what i had! hmmmm whatever no need to worry about me i have several people to take care of.
My List Today:

1. go to church and serve (in the nursery today)!
2. dishes
3. laundry
4. cook
5. clean the kitchen
6. make sure everyone is hydrated
7. take care of the dogs
8. clean out the fridge
9. try and relax.... yeah right!

Just call me Cinderella!

I was Thinking Last night....

I was thinking why do certain people have to go through Hell while they live life? Why did God Make the Plague? Why did God make insects? Why did God make people Rule to mess things up? Wanna know why? Its so He can fix them! But how do you fix something thats broken? Or something that can kill us? Sometimes I just wonder when i think but this is what im thinking... I dont understand why people get sick? What is Their purpose? Is it so we can find a Cure?

I know my blog is supposed to be on what is life?! But Im just trying to think on why sick people are sick? Alot of people i know are/were sick had cancer and had cysts and tumors i had tumors and cysts but never cancer.

Watching Ru Pauls Drag Race!

These "Women" (yes i will call them women, because even though they are technically guys they are them selves) They go through all these hard ships. Being gay having people hate on them because they want to be them selves! Who cares what they wear who they are and who they date. They are extremely talented Women and they are fierce! Ru Paul is Gorgeous and these women on here are nothing but Drama. But what is a logo tv show with out Drama? whats a tv show in general with out drama?!
This show is so Entertaining, Now they live life!

So Im trying to write a book about our Purpose in life!

What is our purpose?
Please if you have an answer, please comment!
Our purpose is never really put out there for you to see. Which is crazy because how do you know what your supposed to do or supposed be; even how you are supposed to act? Is it how we grow up? Is it the fact that we make our own choices? Is it in Gods hands.... well i believe it is, I have seen for my self like i said before i was saved! But this is about our purpose in life.  See some peoples purpose is to get sick bring families closer and go through a hard time in life. Its hard to say that because some die cause of it, but they got sick for a reason and i believe that they will be reborn. I dont understand why people have to get sick like that.... like Cancer the big C, COPD chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, HIV/AIDS. Yeah there might be a cure but sometimes it doesnt work. So why is there diseases like that our there?
Sometimes its confusing when it comes to thinking of our purpose because than you think of everything you could do in life and things you can change. But it also makes you think should i do this, but if i do this could happen or that.  Im just trying to write that we all do have a purpose in life whether it is good or bad.
Please let me know what you think?!

Who has the Stomach bug?

My Physician refilled my subscriptions!  Whhop Whoop!

But now im dealing with the stomach bug! How many of you have it?! I do because everyone around me has it!!!! UGH!!!!

This pic is so true Cant eat so AB work out it is! stomach turning and whirling and nauseous and diarrhea! Feeling like im going to puke! UGH!!!! Who's feeling like this? lets get a count?! 

So Anyone remember the old boy bands?!

               I was in the car not to long ago picking up my foster sister/daughter, and i was listening to the Blink 182 I miss you Pandora radio station. And what comes on Untitled by Simple Plan, wow havent herd them in a long time! But than it made me think of Good Charlotte and the boy boy bands like 98 degrees, N'Sync and of course Backstreet Boys! Wow definitely took me back in time i might only be 22 but it was a long time ago since ive really listened to all those bands!

              This Is a Sad song and music video and it hits home because i have always been depressed, and not known what to do or why i was alive. "I cant remember how. I cant remember why im lying here tonight. And i cant stand the pain and i cant make it go away. No i can stand the pain."
This was me in pain all the time and i always just lied in my bed thinking of what would happen if i just disappeared. What would happen if i just took something to numb the pain! it was hard growing up but i think thats for everyone just some have it worst than others.

The pain i felt was brutal

 I was nothing but numb

 I dont know how i made it

But im here a little lost still trying to find out where i belong

Trying to see how my life is important

Trying to find out what my purpose is

Im living life day by day

Not looking forward to the future 

Just looking at the present 

Each day i live and i find out something new

I dont know how im making it 

But i guess i do belong here

Right here on this planet 

But i dont get why im still going through my my depression

Still a little numb 

The pain im feeling is real

Old songs making me think of my past

But im still here Thinking Breathing and Feeling

Oh Boy Whats With People?!

I don't understand why people like to make me run in a circle like im chasing my own tail. 

I don't get why primary care doctors can prescribe my manic depressant medications?! i am seeing a Doctor but not til the 28th! and i need a refill! If i dont get this refill i can have a full mental and physical break down. That scares me. But at the same time i was saved once why could i not be saved again? 

So The topic for today.... Whats with people?! 

I have dealt with some dumb/stupid people, but this is far behind that. Now when i say dumb stupid people i mean how they act. Like on the road now i will say i have every bad road rage! But im not as Dumb as some of these people who drive. swerving in and out of the lines, and some not going the speed limit and of course those who want to ride your tail! 

Every one is just crazy I am one of those crazy ones but at least i know went and when not to be a dick! Its just why cant people just do their jobs and why cant people just be sane... Oh wait they cant cause im certainly not sane. Im one of the insane ones! Oh well i think that is more normal than people not doing their jobs and people who just are a dick for no reason. But this is Life! and well Life is just one big circle, and it just goes on day by day.  

It's 4/8/15 11:50P.M. What to Say?!

                 Don't know what i can and can not say in my blog! But i will say is today i met with my new psychologist and hopefully now i can just talk to someone. Give you you a bit of a background with me and psychologists, psychiatrists and therapists. My background sucks i was screwed over when i was in high school my therapist than was a female and she literally did not care about what i was going through cause she not only told my mom but my sister. (now my sister is younger than me) she blew my hole trust with her, i told her one thing and she ended up telling the world!

               Now last July/August i got a new therapist ad he was great until i ended up in the hospital. Than it all went down hill from there. The two Questions he would ask:
                    1) "Are you suicidal"?
                    2) "Do you have a plan"?

Of course i would answer:

                    1) "Yes"!

                    2) "Yes"!

               All i wanted was to talk to my therapist, and i wasn't thinking when i answered those two question because guess why? he would call his supervisor and than it would tick me off and i would leave. But than cops would show up at my door to see if i was ok. Oh did i mention that they would tell me i should go back to the hospital. Now the second to last time i seen my therapist he called his supervisor someone new like always. Than she was telling me you need to go to the hospital, and of course i said NO if you want me there youd have to handcuff me or sedate me! And to top it off they said i had to attend group in order to see him. HAHAHAHA! Group doesnt help me. I told my therapist the 2nt to last time i seen him "next week im going to tell you everything is fine" he said "Ok". Guess what now! The last week i saw him he told me i have to go to a higher level of care before i go back to see him. Oh well Now i have another therapist i have a Psychologist. 

          My 2nd post trust me it will get better! just didn;t know what to say so i told you a little about whats been going on! now it's way past my bed time have to get up at 530 to wake up my foster daughter/sister. Good night world may be who ever reads this wont be shy to ask anything they would like an answer to. I always been told i give great advice! Please dont be shy and hopefully you keep reading!

My First Post: So here's a Run down of my blog!

Personally I suffer from Manic Depression! I hit rock bottom at one point last year, and now I have herd and seen that there is more in life! (with my depression you can ask me more about it. I would be gladly to answer anything you ask). I was never one to believe in any God, i was always agnostic. Than I hit rock bottom and soon after i believed. You can say i was saved, because technically thats what i was i was saved. (To let you know this blog might get gruesome and you might not be able to handle what i say. But believe me you can comment and say what is on your mind and i will be here to answer anything) I wanted to start this blog because i wanted people who went through depression, anxiety, bi polar, anger issues or anything else , even if you are going through them now. Ive been there done that and so im just here to say and show whats on my mind/ or was on my mind. And what i believe and dont believe.
 Now i know i might be talking to no one but oh well this is for me and who ever wants to read it.
This blog, It is about Life!