Here you are sitting in your own self-pity!
You think no one understands what your going through
But they do
Yet you get thrown in a corner by your own family
Just because your little sister's problem is worse
"I don't have a Father"
She yells at you
Yeah well she does
She chooses not to see her Father
She chooses not to speak to him
She chooses not to have a relationship with him
All because he fucked up once
But he was actually trying
and you know what i would have stopped trying to
If she didn't want to see me
And she blames him for not trying
When she stopped trying long ago
Sitting in your own self-pity again
Eyes are exhausted from crying
Mood quickly changed
As you remember Fathers day is around the corner
How do I get thrown in the corner
Why don't they understand what you are going through
They just turn it around and again
It's all about them
They don't know what you are going through
They just think they have it worse
It's a trigger
The word Father
Getting it thrown in your face
That she does have a father and you don't
That she actually has two
Her biological father
and
The guy she calls her father
The one person you knew to be some what of a father
Was her biological father
You were his world
His everything
Til the day she was born
His own
His flesh and blood
You were just thrown to the side
Raising and taking care of the one who treats you like shit
He turned against you
His temper got worse
His lashes scared you
His toxic mood changes toward you were always something to fuck you up
He's one of the reasons why you are who you are
Why you are the way you are
Why you act the way you do
Why you have Daddy issues
The mental abuse you went through
Sticks to you like glue
The verbal abuse you went through
Fucked you up
and
The physical abuse you went through
Left you with scars
Everyone turning their back
Not seeing anything or hearing anything that happened
You are on your own
He left
Left you with scars
Left you with pain
Left you with heart ache
Left you in the corner which you stay
No one here understands
They just turn it around
And the attention you wish you had but didn't have is now gone
You never wanted the attention
Just someone to confide in
Someone to listen
To be interested in what you had to say
But you never get that
Who else can you turn to
Wishing you had that father figure to turn to
Cause maybe he would help
and
Listen
Here you are sitting in your own self-pity
Realizing that it's just a day
But the day you wish you could spend with the father you used to know
OR even the one you do have
Wish you knew who your real father was
Even if he didn't want you
Just to know who he is
Wish your mother told you
At least they all know who their father is
Your still in that corner
Out of wedlock
Pushed aside
Was once loved
now no one can give two shits about you
Fathers day
A day to worship the man in your life who took care of you
The day to realize he is one of the most important people in your life
But for you
Fathers day
The day you realize you want to die
You just want the day to go by
Sleep the day away
Realizing it's going to be the worst day of your life
The day you Hate life the most
You might be sitting in your own self-pity
But at least you realize the truth
At least you know what the day has in store for you
At least you can stay in your corner until it's all over
Maybe no one will bother you
Oh wait
No matter what your going to hear
Them talk about their father's
You know what
This isn't self-pity
This is how you feel
This is your life
Your Life
Not theirs
Trying not to grab a knife
Trying not to grab the pills
Trying to hold your composure
So far so good
But it's not the day yet
12 more hours to go
Let's see if you can last
Let's see if you'll be alright
Don't let your mind wonder
Stay on track
Keep busy
And know
Who gives a shit about having a father anyway!
..........
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Oh yeah
You do
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